In a lonestar state of mind
Another Nanci lyric, sorry!
Strange old day, the main part of which, for me, was taken up with the Remembrance Service for lost babies. I feel fairly emotionally battered this evening as a result. It gets me every time, I see people walking in to the chapel in the hospital and I end up feeling *so*full of grief on their behalf and on my own as well, I guess. And then I have to stand up and read stuff, which is quite horrid, why do I agree to these things?! Actually this time I was drafted in at the last minute … anyway, it was a good afternoon, there were loads of people there and plenty of conversations went on afterwards in the strange ‘have a cup of tea with people you’ve never met while you’re feeling really emotional’ time afterwards, which I always think is slightly bizarre.
Noticed the strangely ironic line in ‘Lord of all hopefulness’ which seems to be a regular feature in the order of service: “be there at our labours”, hmm. I know I believed God was there at mine, but only the times I made it that far! Anyway, time to pack away all my thoughtfulness for another year.
Steve was on childcare all afternoon and I confess to spending an extra half an hour out having a cuppa with a friend so that he would have to go and pick Anna up as well as having dropped her off, I just couldn’t face it after the service.
Anna had a ball at Stagecoach, so there goes another load of money. Ho hum. She complained that she wasn’t very good at the dance; I think it was modern dance whereas she’s only ever been taught ballet before, albeit with a contemporary edge to most of her performance dances, she’s not ever done what I’d call ‘pop’ dance so it was strange to her. But she loved the drama and the singing. She said ‘I made friends with someone who wouldn’t believe that I was allowed to not go to school, so then I made friends with someone else!’
We’ve had a friend round for dinner which has been pleasant, and we’re about to watch the Motorcycle Diaries together, goodo, I need some escapism this evening, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing this film for a while now.
Oh, and we’ve seen some photos of Robyn today, very exciting 
April 17th, 2005 at 21:21
I think you are very brave, memorial services are horrendous just once, repeated ones would dop me in. I’m not sure i could commune in public with lots of people who felt emotional about anything like that. I never even managed to go to cleft lip support group.
Glad she liked Stagecoach; i’m definitely up for starting to do some youth theatre at camps this year.
April 17th, 2005 at 21:49
Are we allowed to hug you yet? It has to be difficult, and being with lots of emotional ppl has its own traumas, regardless of how together you might feel at the best of times.
Stagecoach, hm. Can’t afford it, so just not going to go there.
April 17th, 2005 at 23:13
I think the hard thing is that this is when I see a conflict between personal stuff and the ‘support group’ facilitator – it’s a toughie. Then again I wouldn’t ever want not to feel it, iyswim.
April 18th, 2005 at 7:19
Sounds like you’re doing really well to me Sarah. You’re probably an inspiration to others who appear to be coping less well. I’m like Merry re: that kind of thing, I’d run a mile I’m afraid
so I’m extra impressed at you.
April 18th, 2005 at 10:48
What can I say? I hope you have a restful day on Monday. Is Anna the ‘un-mathsy’ child?
April 18th, 2005 at 16:19
yes, Ruth, how did you guess?
Probably shouldn’t use labels like that really though …
April 18th, 2005 at 16:35
No, I suppose. So what were ‘The motorcycle diaries’ like then? I thought of watching it, but though it looked a little slow.
April 18th, 2005 at 16:36
It was a bit slow to get going but well worth watching. Makes me want to find out more about that period of South American history, too.
April 18th, 2005 at 23:27
Yes, SANDS/memorial services are just the same, down to the same hymn and the same weird tea-drinking afterwards. But so very important especially for those more recently bereaved. Well done, Sarah, for keeping on with it. I think I’ve stopped now.